I got a response from the ex (Again, her spelling errors, not mine): I was told by my attorney that I would need a copy of that letter for my records. If I decied to do this it is a huge undertaking. I just can't put the money in a savings account and go from there. I have to use the money on the and I have to verify every penney. I have to open new bank accounts and when we go shopping, anything that is purchased for Daughter has to come out of her account...clothes, school supplies utilities, food shelter and the same has to be done for Son. He will have to show from his account that he is paying rent, part of the utilities food school expenses. etc. Every December our accounts are audited and any money left needs to b returned or if it is not done exactly to their specifications I will have to pay it all back. This is just way to confusing and as I have said, I may not agree to this. What the heck am I suppose to do the the lump sum of appr x,x? How can I show that all that money was spent on their daiily expenses. It would be great to be able to keep this money for college, but it doesn't look like that can happen. I will be going down to the Social Securty office to talk with them within the next few days. And I still need to talk with my accountant. None of this make sence to me. How long are you going to be on this disablilty for depression (My reply follows in part x)

Part x, my response: Who is telling you that you will be audited every year, require separate accounts and all of this other stuff? Is it your attorney? I would suggest that you talk to an accountant. My friend’s accountant had a husband on disability and their ren received money from Social Security. All she had to do was sign a paper every December stating that the money was used for expenses in raising the ren. She did confirm that the money can’t just be deposited into a college savings account, but said that the Social Security money could be used in place of the money you currently spend on the ren, and that the money you save from your income as a result could then be deposited into a college fund. You have a good question, however, about the lump sum. I would suspect that it would be considered a reimbursement for money used in the x+ years prior to now. I will Social Security tomorrow and read them the concerns you expressed in this e-mail and try and get some answers from them. I will let you know. As for your question about my depression, my case will be reviewed in x years, so both will have graduated by then and the total benefits paid to them should be roughly $x,x. As for how long will I be disabled due to depression? I have no idea if I will ever get better or not. You have no idea what all of this has done to me.

tell her to buy each kid a good used car. I might suggest to her not to pursue it if she's not smart enough. what a bitch Evidently it's not worth it to make a better life for your I hope you tell her "however long it takes" to answer her stupid question

I thought of that too (cars), but ... neither of our driving age teenagers wants to drive.

you need to discuss it with them

If you buy them cars they might change their minds.

Let's be clear; I have no control over ... the ren's benefits. That is all up to their mother.

She's not very smart is she.

She is confused, and ... to be honest it is confusing.

NJ...I'm sorry...I'm confused. What is the deal? You need to dump the SS money onto a sep. account for exacting proof of what it's being used for?

As a result of my disability, I will get ... a lump sum of $X and monthly payments of $Y. This is to support me since I can't work. Our ren will also receive a different lump sum of $A and monthly payments of $B if their mother applies with Social Security on their behalf (I was told by SS that I cannot apply for them). I suggested that this be considered my contribution to the ren's college, but apparently you can't just deposit the ' money directly into a college fund; she has to use the money for the costs of raising the ren. She can, however, take the money she saves (her income from work) from using the SS money in raising the ren and deposit that into a college fund. And as far as I have been told, she need only sign a statement each year stating that the ' SS money was used for raising them. Does that clear it up?

Thanks...so she won't? BITCH.

Not fair ifactually reads the rules and requirements, it is pretty intimidating. My brother receives SSI, and what my parents go through on his behalf to make sure all is in compliance is a significant source of stress. The point is that she can be audited, and the consequences of failing an audit are significant, so she is intimidated, not a bitch.

I believe SSI is different from ... SSDI. SSI stands for Supplemental Security Income and is geared toward low income recipients. SSI has income and asset restrictions (can't have more thancar, regardless of condition, etc). SSDI is disability. I will find out tomorrow about these audits and such from SSA - my friend's accountant never had to do anything but sign an annual statement.

typo brother is on SSDI for a medical condition that has disabled him.

Okay, just checking.

How is the car?

It is definitely different than the Honda :^) It is not completely problem free, but it is a very good canvas to start with. From how it feels, the engine runs great! It does feel like the drivetrain or other rotating mass (i.e. driveshaft, transfer case, wheel bearings) are reluctant to rotate when cold, so I have some diagnosis to do. Also some minor cosmetic things (fit and finish type stuff) that need tweaking. All in all, I am satisfied.

Cool Sounds like a great project for idle hands

Confused...you are on SS disability but can yank trannys out of cars?

Here we go again. Wrenching for a living is far different from wrenching on a hobby car. How many service customers do you know who would be satisfied waiting months or years for the work to be done on their car? I have a second car for reliable transportation, so I have no stress or deadlines for this project. Also, I rebuilt a x version of the same car, so I have some experience. That, however, does not make me a certified mechanic.

Everybody feels qualified to judge disability. I mean, who hasn't looked at someone get out of their car over in the handicapped space and thought "bullshit, he's not handicapped, ..." I used to have a permit. I used to have to do several hours of physical therapy every day just to keep strong enough to stay mobile despite the pain. x times out of x, noout in the world would have looked at me and thought "ah, he's handicapped." But, helllloooooo? I didn't go out in the world when I couldn't keep steady. It's not the same as depression, I know, but the fact that I could sometimes do a, b, or c, didn't mean that the effort it required wasn't debilitating, and it didn't mean that it was always, or even regularly, possible.

Thank you - you understand. Sometimes the handicap misuse is easy to tell, though. I worked with a guy in Seattle that used to laugh about the brand new, jacked up xxx (think tall, like a monster truck) parked in the handicap spot. But you are right; not many people understand depression and what it can do to a person, both emotionally and physiy. I am in the worst state of overall health I have ever been in all of my life.

What are you doing to get better?

My first step was to get on disability ... and relieve the financial stress. I have seen x different therapists and none have really given me any help. The meds I have tried either didn't work or worked for a short time, then caused more problems. I have to admit, the car is the first thing in my life since the divorce that has given me any form of excitement or hope. I consider it a baby step toward recovery. Maybe working on it will be therapeutic, I don't know. I don't know if I will ever be the same until I have something remotely close to what I had in my marriage.

I'm going to defend that monster truck, sight unseen. Because the thing is, the disability for which the plate or placard was issued might have very little to do with a functional ability to use that truck. Beyond that, perversely some things vehicles that may look difficult to get in an out of are actually a lot easier than dropping into a standard sedan's seats. Depression is hard for people with a luckier brain chemistry to have any grasp on whatsoever. It's like arguing the color of the sky.

I hate to say it but she does have a point The attorney is giving her the sky is falling scenario and the absolute safest route to avoid any issues in an audit. When an eligible under age x, who has a representative payee, is eligible for certain large past–due payments covering more thanmonths of benefits, these payments must be paid directly into a separate account in a financial institution. We this separate account a dedicated account because the representative payee, or later the , may use the funds in this account only for certain expenses, primarily those related to the 's disability. You must maintain the dedicated account separately from any other savings or checking account set up for the . Each year, we will monitor how the representative payee spends the funds in the dedicated account. All that said, a debt card would solve the damn problem. This is no different than a conservatorship, and those are set up every fucking day. Why? Because when a person is sick or dying and in danger of exhausting every fucking penny they ever earned a spouse or family member may set up a conservatorship in order to preserve the last of the money for family and ren. If this was going to actually save HER money she would do it in a damn heartbeat. I shows how fucking lazy she is to be honest, most of us are. We know how we can cut costs or make additional money, we just won't put forth the effort. Then we love to bash the people who will so we don't have to blame ourselves.

But the ren aren't disabled. It is only money from my disability claim; additional money that I wouldn't get personally, but is available to the ren to aid in their support. Your last statement is a bit of irony. I was bashed and divorced because I was too lazy and didn't want to work to support our ren (ignoring the fact that I was overcome by depression; "I was just sad"). This came from both her and her father. Now, she is capable of getting the ren $x,x without that much effort (at least according to the accountant we spoke to who has direct experience). So, if I was the shitty father, what does that make her?

I'm only saying I see where the confusion is coming from and very well may be the case regardless of the 's disability status. The issue I see is that when I research the requirements for using the SSI I didn't find other examples nor instruction. Doesn't mean it isn't true but the lump sum payments were specifiy addressed in this fashion. You might want to suggest an accountant to accountant discussion so that she can get the information from a source she trusts or..perhaps her accountant to discuss it. Neither of you trust the other, you kind of have to operate from that mindset. Don't get offended that she doesn't trust you..let it roll off your back and don't try to convince her. It's just a waste of time and energy. You can tell her that you don't believe that it's an accurate statement but you'll check into it. Leave it at that. She loves to poke at you, that's obvious from her email..all this huge fucking sacrific she's making..ignore it. Just deal with the relevant part, what IS actually required. This is for your , not her and knowing YOU did everything required to get those the money...if that means ignoring her shit and double checking and ing HER accountant or setting up a from your's to her's so be it. Ball in your court man...do the right thing...well OK, MY opinion of the right thing. It is all about me after all. : )

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