messimer
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2015-06-15 1-10-25-
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any without love Every waking second I enjoy music where My spouse and i can As long mainly because my eyes really are open, my mind is whirring I do my quests no escorts tonight Colfax iselessly and attentively I pick a cardinal direction and My organization is obdurate in great decision The mercy associated with wind, the cruelty for the sun,push then another sounds at me I war in open flatlands doggedly, relentlessly, damaged, starved, insufficiently prepared Some days to weeks I walk for long periods of time and without purpose I wander beneath a checking sun that glares balefully from me from countless miles away I go until Relating to nothing left then go on out of thin will I dream great awake, upright, staring, plotting, delirious and also devilish and permanently empty Sometimes I take up residence more then my turn allows, sometimes and sometimes more far less I sit adjacent to a window I hardly check of anymore that looks for a world I'm learning to not ever care about I desire in circles inplace to another then to return, down the exact streets, just on several days But always the identical ways, or different ones, but always to your same place regardless why or when or for what reason And they're usually the same motives, and they can be stupid reasons however are reasons and I i absolutely drive those exact same ways I go a long time forty miles per hour with windows thrown down, wind wasting on me, sunsets zeroing on me I feel faintly with your life for infinitesimal instants this fleetingly destroy themselves and so are never again witnessed or matter I offer the line and My partner and i make Herculean appears and I overcome valiantly in stupid battles that contain no reasons to fought But I accomplish them anyways when it wasn't only just pretend, I'd be described as a great warrior... but I'm not I sense that I have the heart of commercial diamond Like my eyes are constructed with obsidian Like my skin is manufactured out of coal I feel like My organization is breathing wool My blood feels like mercury I feel such as whirring, useless human-shaped product whose heart is normally welded and rusted shut I've a good fleeting past, a depthless present plus a future so nebulous I don't think in it anymore Faith with me is a light bulb that has perform its course, whose glass is now brittle and contains broken and that's become useless I became useless I uphold your ancient rituals But Now i'm stumbling I'm falling over I'm slipping hard onto my own knees When I get off the couch from my joints, it's with ground teeth so when though bits of glass are usually in my veins since my blood knocks out through them When I get caught in the swoon just like dead, I dream And they may be not sweet dreams I 'm hounded by devils on darkened flatlands and I weep and I die inside of a thousand ways I i'm always running, working, running, running out of wolves, from goblins, coming from evil men plus evil days I place alone and As i dream alone plus I even adore alone and usually and everywhere, whether dream or no I usually do not matter I don't issue and I hardly ever matter, even on to suns Awake or in bed, my life is actually a nightmare And why? I am living and breathing in a world while not love To Dante worshiping an individual's Beatrice To Lancelot knelt so that you can Guinevere To Romeo poison-lipped in advance of Juliet To Winston Smith having intercourse to Julia To Don Quixote worshiping his / her lady-love... Having cleaned an individual's armor and made the full helmet out of any simple headpiece, and having supplied a name that will his horse and chosenfor him self, he realized that the thing left for him to try and do was to see a lady to like; for the knight errant with out using lady-love was a good tree without leaves behind or fruit, a body with out a soul. -- Don Quixote, First Section, Chapter I, Section x.
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