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Pages: if asked to describe your ideal D/s [1]
Author Topic: If asked to describe your ideal D/s

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2011-02-08 5-44-02-

if asked to describe your ideal D/s relationship, would you be able to? the question was recently posed to me and i stuttered to find an much of it for me depends on so many factors but i wonder if others have a clear and distinct picture of what your ideal relationship looks like.
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2011-02-10 12-31-15

a few thoughts Perhaps, I'm naive, but i'm not a big fan of creating lists or ideals. I have never sought a partner or relationship through this method. Things have always just sort of happened. I'm not saying that my way is the only way. Whatever is meant to happen is ideal. As my friend says "Believe it or not, you are exactly where you are meant to be." A good relationship is that enhances your life. And that can come in many forms.
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2011-02-12 1-58-11-

i am so happy to hear your thoughts.... i couldnt agree more with your friends belief. it was of those moments where you wonder...should i know what my ideal is? does everyone else know theirs? am i somehow incomplete or naive for not knowing?
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    2011-02-13 1-35-04-

    yeah, i had that moment yesterday when he asked in a very submissive tone/posture 'what do you want from me? i'll do anything to please you' and i could only reply, 'right now, just f*ck me like you want to -- we'll figure out the rest later'
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    2011-02-13 5-10-03-

    good for you both.... going where the wind takes you both, so to speak
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    2011-02-24 2-17-42-

    completely agree and i swear it's not a cop-out to say "i just want to see where this goes..." because really, i do. my current lover (consumated yesterday) wants to be a good sub and has asked me what to do. i had to tell him that i honestly hadn't a clue, but would know as we got into exploring this side of our relationship after being close friends for years. i think it's good to not force expectations or ideals onto anything new and budding, or to set the bar too high on what bliss you might already have and share. many forms, many pleasures -- thanks for saying that more eloquently than me. that said, however, i wonder what an older married man would want from his ideal amazonian, strong and in some ways dominant lover. i am partnered as well, so we're both ing the shots in our limited free time with each other. the potential list of things i might give or require from him is starting to grow in my mind gets a little more detailed almost every day! it will be fun, perhaps, to explore that here...
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  • appelt

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    2011-03-24 23-58-33

    i don't know how much to say except that we'd talked about it for years...wanted to see and experience each other for a long, long time...and then finally found a safe space and time away from the world for it. we couldn't stay and linger long, but it was fantastic sex and i have only optimism for what's next, no regrets.
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  • taillon

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    2011-04-07 1-40-26-

    yes, that was me/him at the airport and yes, i'll let you know if my dom-femme inspiration from him gives me any ideas worth sharing. hopefully you'll have a list of fun things to do with yours soon enough also.
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    2011-04-09 22-48-54

    Oh, good, I'm glad the airport pickup went well (I sort of felt like I was following a little story line there, but didn't know the ending). My guy wanted a blow job in the airport parking lot, but I just thought with all the security cameras there now, you know? So we stopped on a little country lane a bit away from the airport. Mine is a distance thing, and I won't see him for several months yet. So you might get going on your list first. ;)
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    2011-06-28 10-50-03

    perfect -- your airport pickup and mine went very similarly...except i wasn't as able to find a perfect, dark spot for the return home blow, but luckily he lives here and travels mostly only in the summer. he was in india in june, will be in the UK later in july...but now he has more to look forward to when he does come home. :-) i had better work on that list; he wants to go shop for us! i want a few sexy, fun toys that will look innocent enough to others, but have special meaning for us. maybe like a vibrating rubber duck that i gave a best friend for her bachelorette gift, you know that kind of thing. or on a more technical side, tie-downs for a bike rack (we're both cyclists and triathletes) that would also serve a more intimate purpose. ooh now i'm thinking a little more out of the box...see what you've done to me, kinkfo? thank you!! see you later
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    2011-07-27 3-31-19-

    i cant wait to heat all the details as have them...sounds exciting :)
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    2011-09-01 16-22-05

    well said, this was my favorite part "and i swear it's not a cop-out to say 'i just want to see where this goes...'" The book analogy, if you skip to the last chapter, you miss all the good stuff in the middle.
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  • Charlotta

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    2011-10-22 18-11-35

    well, the book is still writing itself in our case. he's x and i'm x and we're both in LTR's with others who are better matched to us in all ways except monogamy/poly perspectives. let's just say we'd talked a fair amount about what we would do if we could do something together, and then finally did. i'd not expected him to be so eager and to dive right into me, without hesitation as if he'd already f*cked me a million times. i guess his and my fantasizing about that moment made it feel all familiar and new at the same time. it was wet, white-hot and so so natural feeling to have him fully in me. with great anticipation, i look forward to seeing just how far we'll go into B/D and Dom/sub stuff...he doesn't seem at all vanilla. already asked me if i'd like him to make any 'special toy purchases'. ummm, sure!
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    2011-10-24 4-09-09-

    it sounds as if you have so much chemistry already...:)
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    2011-12-24 1-30-07-

    thank you, we do :-) if i write out too much more, i'd probably make you and me both wetter than we'd want to be right now. i have a gym appt in an hour, so will have to sign off soon anyway. *sigh* until next time
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    2012-01-10 20-09-07

    giggles.... i sure dont need to be any hornier than i am right now! hope you have a great work out...i have to go soon too!
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    2012-03-11 15-31-48

    i was asked to do this too.... I looked for the write up, but couldn't find it...and you know what? It would have been totally different then how i feel about it now. My "ideals" about D/s, relationships, and love are always changing...growing , i hope. I don't really believe in "ideals" anyway, it's what you make of it, how you cultivate it and feed it. And for me it starts with that *spark* that tingly feeling of electricity when near that person...maybe you even felt it before you realized. The once realized it takes on a life of it's own....yeah. The kind of D/s relationship i want, is where i feel safe, cherished, cared for and pushed. where i feel useful and appreciated for all i give. Where my Dom has pride in me and our relationship, and i feel the same way.
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  • pardee

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    2012-03-18 8-40-40-

    oh yes.... that last part was very powerful and well said. thank you!
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    2012-07-05 11-17-29

    very nice!
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    2012-09-20 9-18-31-

    speaking of which i was asked the other day to describe what I look for in a play partner. I wasn't really in the mood, as I don't really "look" for play partners, we just seem to find eachother. Anyway, i decided to be polite and provide a description. At the end, i asked the person to provide their answer. They replied withsentence that was totally unrelated, something about how often i get to the city. WTF?
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    2012-10-01 18-56-21

    or something like... "a pulse"? That's just sad there are people playing like that..hopefully they all just find eachother and kink on without us!!
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  • heinlen

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    2012-10-26 0-41-00-

    Kind of like, If you have to ask the price you can't afford it? If you have to ask what I'm looking for, chances are good that you aren't it. (Not that I'm even looking--since looking rarely works out well.) I couldn't possibly make a list; that would be absurd. I could describe aspects of myself that I like, but I'm not trying to date myself. I want a partner to be someone different. I won't know if I like any particular combination of attributes till I see them all combined and walking around and interacting.
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  • wilmadawn

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    2012-12-19 16-33-39

    i thought i reed you answering this once before or a similar question and I loved your answer before as much as I like this I'm not a shopper. It drives some of my friends nuts. They always want to know what my "type" is. And i always say "I don't have a type, I have a feeling." Even before I was kink-aware, this was my answer.
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  • margarita

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    2013-01-02 3-19-59-

    i love how both of you put that!
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    2013-03-04 20-24-18

    as your friend says... you are right where you are suppose to be!
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