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Pages: I'm so sorry Philly. [1]
Author Topic: I'm so sorry Philly.
Beth

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Posts: 1

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2011-02-08 2-37-31-

I'm so sorry Philly. That is a bad blow. How long have you been broken up?
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worster

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-10 2-25-54-

mmmm... since halloween. i hate people right now..its like i'm stuck in this reality soap opera. I have to keep moving and i'll talk to either of them again. never!!!!! maybe that was the play from the very beginning. who knows. I guess, this is all pay back, for how bad i was in that relationship, with my ex..who knows. of course, she was responsible in the relatonship too.
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Sheila

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-11 15-53-30

PFB, I'm confused Why are you upset? Did you and your ex part on bad terms, and you expected your friend to cut her out of her life too? You & your ex have been broken up since November... that's a decent chunk of time. I mean, I don't know anything about your history with either woman, but if they can be happy together, can you find it in your heart to be happy for them? Maybe I'm desensitized by my small town background where it was impossible to date someone who hadn't dated your friends. It was crazy-incestuous. But what I learned is that after a while, you history with that person isn't really relevant to their relationship with another. And it shouldn't be relevant if you want to maintain the friendship. Good friends are precious, I wouldn't want to throw that away.
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nicolaus

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Posts: 2

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2011-02-11 19-12-47

i won't throw it away, my friendship that is it makes me feel some sort of way... of course i want them to be happy. It just brings up bad feelings, for me. then again, I could be wrong. I have to talk to my bff.. I just found out threw some people; they were seen together. ect. I guess, i'll just let the bad feelings go, and except whatever is going on, has nothing to do with me. ty flyingdogs, for pointing that out.
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dicker

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-12 20-09-44

a good friend is hard to find if you can find some peace with it and continue being friends with your friend- that would be great. Sounds like you just want/need your friend to be honest with you so that you don't hear "news" from others. And anyone should understand that! Good Luck!!
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  • calnan

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    2011-02-12 23-57-44

    it's never easy, especially if you & your ex had a really significant and/or longer term relationship. When the wound's still raw, all sorts of irrational anger and jealousy bubbles up. Chances are though, if you try and be cool about it, over time their relationship won't seem like a big deal at all.
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    slotnick

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    2011-02-13 5-27-01-

    for contrast, did I ever tell you about my ex gf M? She was polly before I met her. We met through missed connections, and we had great chemistry. Thing is, after thinking about it, I realized I could not attempt a polly relationship. I'm just too much of a on-one kind of person. So after talking to M, she and her primary set things aside so she could date me exclusively for a while. I was supposed to be utterly cool with this and time the three of us went to dinner, and M and her "ex" were talking comparing OUR first date to THEIR first date! I was totally floored! A few months later things didn't work out, and the NEXT DAY she went back to her primary while I was sittin' there all broken hearted. MAN I was pissed! But she played fair. She was honest with me. And I figured out that I was really more pissed about her putting me as a lower priority than her "ex". I suspect they were spending a lot of time together as "friends" while we were dating, so who knows if they ever really broke things off. I just chose to trust her and I'll live with that.
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    honsinger

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    2011-02-24 4-58-33-

    I disagree I think it is very much a violation for one's friends, especially one's best friend, to date one's ex. It is just not d It's not kosher and it creates hard feelings. There are so many fish in the sea. For the sake of the friendship, this should be avoided at all costs. I think the OP has every right to feel hurt and crossed. I was actually reading something, can't re what or where, that said that this unwritten code is far more respected among men than women - that you just DON'T date your friends' exes. You just do NOT b/c you will lose your friend and it is not worth it. To OP, I can understand how you are feeling and I am sorry you have now lost your BFF as well as your ex. This really, really hurts.
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  • augusto

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    Posts: 2

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    2011-03-25 4-20-26-

    Deep, long breaths Of course this COULD be very upsetting, but at this moment, you don't have confirmation, so just try to breath and focus on something positive.
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    rines

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    2011-05-25 3-10-49-

    something positive. Valentine candy x% off. I'm on a sugar high I think.
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  • khanna

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    Posts: 12

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    2011-07-19 8-40-30-

    So sorry - that sucks!
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    terentia

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    2011-08-27 8-36-42-

    they won't bring me down I won't let them...nobody, as the right to make me feel this way..i realize, unless I gave them premsisson. i dont' care, she's an ex for a reason. I'm going to talk calmly to my bbf. and hope i get an honest answer. I date all the time.
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  • gallow

    Full Member
    Posts: 14

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    2011-10-16 2-32-57-

    Hey Dudette, if I re you suspected this at the time you split.... let it go. You are running really hot and cold right now, day you are on cloud and the next in the ditch. Work towards the middle. Again, she is pushing your buttons.... why is that? You've got to let that go before you are going to find peace. Fuck it, feed 'em fish heads. So what if they are dating?
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    Danika

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    Posts: 24

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    2011-12-17 21-40-50

    makes wonder why she kissed & had you walk her home & tried to take it further it further a few weeks ago. What a
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  • rohner

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 26

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    2011-12-23 22-10-12

    i agree there...no more talk about the ex.
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  • reeves

    Full Member
    Posts: 8

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    2012-02-16 9-46-46-

    Feel free to talk about it, that will help you process it without having to act upon it. You will get good advice here, sometimes it will hurt and piss you off but for the most part it is sound.
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    boback

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 30

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    2012-04-30 11-19-27

    yeah but micro blogging is annoying unless I have subscribed to the blog. Seriously PFB you need to stop participating in this thing you are doing with the ex. Face it you are going into her hood just to see (oops bump into) her and still talking to the (should be ex friend) BFF in hopes of finding out what is going on between her and the ex. Get a new BFF and avoid the places the ex is for a few months. In that time find out who you are and what you like to do by yourself.
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  • Kenneth

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    Posts: 12

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    2012-08-03 22-40-38

    & check into drama rehab
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    lieder

    Sexy
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    2012-08-20 23-08-23

    Just had to add that last little tiddly bit.
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  • prazak

    Sexy
    Posts: 40

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    2012-11-05 2-30-41-

    it is a serious problem, being uneasy with calm in one's life & constantly having to create or find drama
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  • petrovic

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    Posts: 19

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    2012-11-14 4-39-54-

    I don't disagree.
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  • desilets

    Hero Member
    Posts: 21

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    2012-11-18 14-46-11

    so she might want to look at that. if she has time.
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    canavan

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    2013-01-26 10-03-58

    ok, cool.
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  • dummitt

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    2013-03-07 20-18-41

    excellent advice, lp
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  • bertke

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    Posts: 55

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    2013-03-21 10-10-57

    ^ yes. I'd forgotten all about this history when I posted my comment. Now that I remember, I'm with BR. What a toxic situation. Feed 'em fish heads. You gotta take care of yourself.
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    korson

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    Posts: 14

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    2013-04-19 1-19-15-

    Last summer.... I was at local pride festival and I see ex K..I walked over to give her a hug.She has her arm around this woman who had her face sort of buried in her hair. Ex K says.."you remember B?" B is also an ex.Two exes together...arghh.Felt like I'd been socked in the stomach.B lived in another city even.I am thinking how did this even happen?? I mumbled something or other and wandered away. Now it is somewhat amusing to me..truly they deserveanother,both have a complete lack of character but that initial moment was brutal.
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    Paulo

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    2013-07-18 22-02-29

    ty for all the feed back i have to let go, of these bad feelings. I think i need a vacation.. ha ha... thanks its probably pms, thats making me feel this way.
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