has herpes exculded me from the lez community??? Ever since I found out I had this I have been too afaid to try and meet someone else. I do not want to give this to anyone else. Am I the only one ou there like this.....

Just be up-front about it You're far from alone - it's a very common condition. Read up on herpes, talk to a doctr, find out how to have safe sex and what your risks, and your potential partner's risks, are. It's good that you're aware of it, but it shouldn't be a deal-breaker. The revelation of STDs (and pre-existing conditions, whether you've been tested for AIDs, etc) is a pretty standard part of dating ettiquette now. Good luck!

Ever met anyone with a cold sore? That's herpes. No, you aren't the only one. People who know these things extimate that up to 20 percent of women in the U.S. have genital herpes (herpes 2). Many, many more than that (around 85 percent of the population) have herpes 1 (the cold sore kind). Lots of people with herpes have no symptoms at all and therefore don't even know they have it. It's very possible to avoid giving it to a partner. I believe it's super important to be honest about it up front. There may be a few people who would choose not to get involved with you based on the fact of the virus, but it really is the right thing to give them that choice (and accept their decision). It sucks to learn you've got it, but you'll be okay, really. Having info is good. Here are some decent sources ... / (this guy's in Vancouver)

dealbreakers come in many other forms That said, lots of people have one of the common strains without actually knowing they have it, and some folks are asymptomatic. For HSV-1, I happen to be one of them. I have the antibodies for it, but never had a cold sore in my entire life. I only found out about it because I'd insisted on a Western Blot blood test in addition to the others before getting intimate in my last relationship. For me personally, someone's STD status has never stopped me from dating them, inclusive of one ex who told me in the beginning about having HSV-2. It's just not a big deal to me in the presence of a heart-connection, and neither is abstaining or playing safer when there are symptoms. Trust, honest communication and genuine care about the other person matter a lot more, and these play a big role in plenty of other things aside from STDs. In other words, hiding stuff which affects the relationship is my idea of a dealbreaker, and that tugs at a multitude of issues, of which STDs are only one.

I happen to know a lesbian couple where one person has herpes. It doesn't stop most people when there's a real connection.

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