question... Is performing oral sex on your partner seen as a submissive act? I ask, because in recent experience, a person I was with who is, in my mind, purely dominant never performed it on me, while the recent switch I played very hard with, did. It was never important enough to address it with my first playmate... but the more I think about it, the more I wonder. Could be, it is simply a matter of preference, and every person, regardless of orientation (dom, sub, switch, in this case) has a different opinion.

i think it depends on the context its given in like if you tell the person 'get on your knees and make me cum' thats a sub context.

I get that... but I guess part of me wonders if there is ever a context, say during a scene, in which a Dominant would perform oral on the sub/bottom.

i guess if thats what they chose to do its depends on what goes thru the doms head.

head games

pardon me?

head games men fuck with your head and think with their dick... you'll never know whats really going on in someone elses head but if they're turned on then you'll figure it out. mostly. its all head games. whether or not oral is part of the play or a sub act.

not all guys are like that

I don't believe it is inherently submissive Though as spr points out, it can be. I do think that some folks who themselves dominant think that way about it, but I personally think that's a cop-out, and rather BS. I don't know about you, but I certainly feel like I have an awful lot of control when his cock is in my mouth!

haha yep

Trust me.... We guys feel the same way as we suck and flick that clittie of our SO!!!

I don't doubt that one bit A talented tongue certainly has a lot of control over me too

ohhhhh realllllly???

Do you disagree? Why the skepticism?

sweety i was joking with you about the last part of your post.

Sorry, post looked a lot snarkier than I meant!

Yes you did! ;)

how else would i have gotten you to buy me all that stuff??

I wasn't talking about what WE may or may NOT have done.... projecting a little bit there Goldi? ;) Hate to burst your bubble babe but I didn't buy you anything when we first met... you ARE a Cheap Date! ;) Of course you & the Mrs can work something out and in the end I know it is going to cost me! lol!

I *am* a cheap date, it's true.. but that's just at trap. Once you're caught, you're in for quite a financial ride!

Interesting question I think it depends on my partner and the context of the cock sucking. If my guy *makes* me by pushing my head towards his cock and grabs his cock forcing it against my lips until I surrender and open to receive him... then yes, I would consider that particular session as me submitting. If however, I chase him down, toss him on the bed, pin him and tell him all the terrible things I'm going to do to him, then yank off his pants, snap his underwear band against his skin... take his cock in my mouth and look into his eyes as he begins to lose control.... and remains with his hands above his head as directed..... I would consider that his submission. Just depends. For me, oral is kind of a gift. :) neither D/s inherently, justhell of a lot of fun.

In regards to your response Goldi I don't really understand why a D would think that giving a partner oral would be seen as being submissive. I mean if done properly.... tormenting until the sub begs for it... having him or her be thankful (and saying thank you repeatedly) and then saying "now this is what you're going to do for me you little slut"... etc. or even ordering the sub not to make a sound during for fear of punishment... or order the sub not to move, or ordering a sub not to orgasm etc, seems like it could be made into a more submissive act on the part of the S. I'm kinda with you on the cop-out deal. Dunno. Oh, for the record.. I don't care for receiving oral sex, but that's just a personal preference and has nothing to do with any submissive traits I may or may not have.

I'm with you x% I don't generally love receiving oral either.. (though can rememberoccasion when it was phenomenal) I once had a guy tell me "oh, i'm more dominant, I don't really go down on girls." While it wasn't a huge issue for me for the above reason, I found it pretty obnoxious. Seemed like a BS excuse to me!

wow... and here I thought I was the only .. granted, when done well, it is very nice... but on the list of sexual acts... it ranks kind of low for me as well. and again... awesome post. A way I had not considered it. thanks.

I learned something today that helps me feel less odd. Thank you Katja and Goldi. :) *green kisses*

I am thinking more along the lines of the male being dominant, in my case. I have a good grip on it (no pun intended) from a female perspective... And I love your post!!!!

I wonder if it wasn't just a personal *squick* or hang up on the part of your first partner. Was that person experienced in the lifestyle in your opinion?

oh yes... very. like i said, because it was never a real big deal, I never mentioned it. it just was more a curiosity thing. I might ask him, not that we are back on speaking terms.

since I am submissive it is for me

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