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Pages: Gay bars & the like [1]
Author Topic: Gay bars & the like
rufo

Member
Posts: 3

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2011-02-08 11-23-52

Gay bars & the like Why do I seem so out of place at gay bars? Are carpet munching and dressing in a feminine manner mutually exclusive habits? And WTF is up with not carring purses? I feel like i have to "dress the part" just to pick up a girl. Its lame. I would think this city's gay crowd would be a tad more independent/open minded.
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gibeau

Sexy
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2011-02-10 23-36-33

You are really stupid in a unawesome way.
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schoenrock

User
Posts: 1

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2011-02-12 2-33-58-

you certainly know of what you speak, being the exact same way yourself and all.
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  • evadne

    Newbie
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    2011-02-13 5-54-57-

    I'm glad my comment was worth your time even tho the cross posting gay bashing troll wasn't. Priorities are clear. Glad you like gay bashers. Brave anon.
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    merritts

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    2011-02-19 17-33-23

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  • quamme

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    2011-03-06 18-32-02

    I try to dumb it down on here. This fo is so overrun with exploitive people who either hate us or want to use us for meat that it really is not a safe place to discuss a lot of lesbian issues that are real to us. Therefore, we engage in a lot of banter that is not likely to attract attention. There are a lot of stupid conversations here because we can't be real.
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    Ida

    Member
    Posts: 7

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    2011-04-18 8-28-16-

    what's this we part? u are just barely tolerated You never noticed?
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  • dejarnette

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 12

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    2011-05-18 12-18-22

    As another anon, i can say this, tolerated, as well.
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    frady

    Member
    Posts: 18

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    2011-06-03 18-33-58

    that goes without saying
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    wilmadawn

    Newbie
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    2011-07-05 13-17-23

    So, ok.
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  • uptegrove

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    2011-08-10 0-27-02-

    were you expecting different shit?
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    alex

    Member
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    2011-09-19 3-22-43-

    haha, you misunderstand I made a joke with that line...didn't go well.
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  • dorelia

    Newbie
    Posts: 6

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    2011-09-25 12-26-48

    now, see? I don't get that either. no worry.
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    enslow

    Member
    Posts: 3

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    2011-11-11 9-08-19-

    well. best thread this forum's seen in months.
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    Hukam

    User
    Posts: 4

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    2011-12-09 4-22-10-

    Who cares? I am barely tolerated? By whom? Do I need permission to post here? Read the thread above this one. I like CB and get a lot from her food and have a idea what nice pants and shoes are from comments here, but fuck, I still live in a suposed free country and has not banned me from use here, so will continue to post my barely tolerated comments as I so chose, I am glad you are the membership council of this private membership only location. The grey handle suits you.
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  • serafin

    Newbie
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    2011-12-19 18-49-00

    Shit, dont act like you greens don't
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  • montour

    Hero Member
    Posts: 23

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    2011-12-27 12-03-33

    I did not go grey to say the carpet comment was stupid. You can say any thing you want in grey. Big deal.
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    larine

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 16

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    2012-01-06 21-53-24

    did you really write that?
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  • bednarik

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 5

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    2012-03-09 11-15-36

    you try to dumb it down
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  • cummings

    Newbie
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    2012-05-25 5-20-13-

    I agree,
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  • harb

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 36

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    2012-09-06 22-11-11

    For what it's worth... ...consider talking about stuff important to you anyway, despite the assholes lurking around. They've never stopped me. Chances are, we won't agree on everything. No biggie. I participated in my first Pride march x years ago. It was also the first to take place in a very fucked up part of the country at the time. Total number of marchers including me? x, going right down the main street, with our faces showing. Be glad you need not live the life of a nameless sociopath in x. If I'm around and think I can reply with something useful (or at least somewhat entertaining!), I will. Just like in real life. x-)
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    goeken

    Newbie
    Posts: 14

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    2012-11-12 19-16-35

    that's a bit harsh she was expressing her frustration. Maybe she could have worded what she said differently (and picked a better handle), but ing her "stupid" was not necessary.
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    pilkinton

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 28

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    2012-11-26 21-57-43

    I find being refered to as a carpet muncher by a new handle that's cross posted here and on the qufo to be rude and insulting and insensitive to the Gay population. Thus, I consider the poster to be stupid in regards to social protocal. ie: a troll.
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  • Linzy

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 52

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    2013-01-31 14-04-41

    What about being referred to as a Dyke? -different anon. P.S.- You see, some girls, like myself, really have no problem with it. Others, like my friend, clinches, when she hears the word. So, who is right? P.S.S-i have no problem with the word "carpet munch". it makes me laugh yes, I am a teenage dyke. in a x year old body. I'm going to stop typing now
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    goshorn

    Sexy
    Posts: 12

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    2013-02-09 15-33-40

    Your second question, was honest No, they are not mutually exclusive.
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  • heathcock

    Sexy
    Posts: 13

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    2013-03-23 4-01-03-

    in NYC gay bars, it's an equal mix of the "butch" and "femme" types... Bu I did haveexperience in a bar that pissed me off quite a bit. I was in a gay bar with my girlfriend(we've been together and commited for a while now). I was wearing a little black sexy dress, and my girlfriend was looking sexy as usual. We were having a drink at the bar and this woman and her friend were sitting next to us. They were a little drunk and engaged us in conversation... like if we'd ever been here before, etc... of course I thought it was friendly and I was being nice and friendly back, saying "No, we've come here a few times but we usually hang out at this other lesbian bar in the area." So, they stopped talking to us for a little while and we were just being ourselves... dancing a bit, kissing a little... ya know doing what couples do... and I got the feeling that they wre talking about us. Now I am pretty feminine, and so is my girlfriend, although she always insists that I carry "the purse". So we sat back down and I realized that these women were making fun of us, saying that we were probably just some straight girls who thought that "being a lesbian" for a night would be cool. So, of course this is not true, so I ignored them, I didn't want to get into a fight because we were having a fun night. I tell this long story because I was really upset that night that these women who I thought were being friendly, were actually assuming something of me that wasn't true, just because I was wearing a dress and carrying a purse. I dress how I like and do what I do, that doesn't make me any less of who i am, a lesbian.
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    avedisian

    Hero Member
    Posts: 13

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    2013-05-11 8-11-27-

    There will always be people who judge on face value - and they generally bring a healthy dose of their own agenda into the mix as well. Whether it be fear, or insecurity, or just plain ignorance... some people will just make up their mind on you based on a surface scan, and leave it there. And queers are, sadly, no exception.
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    Isis

    Member
    Posts: 7

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    2013-06-17 16-48-10

    Because lesbians are conformist and anti-femme No, they are not mutually exclusive, but (a) many lesbians are gender-dysphoric, not just gay and (b) lesbian 'membership' is based as much on being unfeminine as it is interest in women. For example, feminine lesbian who sleeps with men immediately loses her dyke cred because (since she is feminine) her sexuality is already perceived as questionable. A masculine lesbian can do the same thing without any harm to her reputation. (And if she sleeps with men exclusively, she can be a "trannyfag", which is somehow even more queer, don't ask me why.) So even if a girl wants to wear a dress, etc. she's probably not going to do it for long after she starts to go to dyke bars because she's unlikely to be welcomed unless she conforms to the dress code. Of course it varies from city to city. I'm talking about San Francisco. Seattle is even less femme. In NY it's split. In LA even the butches are femme. Have you heard about the upcoming Femme conference? www.femmex.com
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  • wedekind

    Hero Member
    Posts: 14

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    2013-08-08 22-14-55

    well if any lesbian femme or otherwise, sleeps with men, she is clearly not a lesbian... i know your post was not in reply to mine, but i have to say that I am a feminine woman who loves women: feminine or otherwise. I don't understand when women think they have to fall into a certain stereotype to fit in to the lesbian community. Many women dress how they dress, and look how they look... there are many different people out there... but i just thinkshould be themselves... and if that means that they are neither "butch" nor "femme" nor "butchy-femme"... so be it... *gasp*.
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