Family matters.... So I get a from my older brother for the umpteenth time asking for money. I have helped him out in the past and never expected to see the money in return. I figure it is better to make it a gift rather than a loan to spare resentments later on. He is in danger of his phone being shut off, car insurance canceled and being evicted (again). Whoa!!!!! Last month he borrowed money from our mother, who really doesn't have it to spare to get him out of another jam with tickets and car insurance, etc. I feel bad for him, but this is getting really old. No one has ever bailed me out from legitimate crises and he hasn't bothered to find a real job in months. He is an artist, but for christ's sake, I am not the NEA. I am having my own difficulty, what with my recent mess to clean up and no one has offered to help me. Suggestions, comfort, advise???

(((((((hugs)))))))) I'm sorry to hear family trouble for you Bouncinback, that is a tough one. My thoughts are to sit and have a heart to heart with your bro, bring a current Sunday newspaper to scour want adds with him, let him know you support him emotionally but not financially. Everyone after they leave home is responsible for themselves. He needs to learn to fish, in the end he will respect himself much more than just the family bailing him out all the time. Think about how you would handle the situation if you were in it and through him all the positive things you would do since you (even with your hardships) are being proactive and responsible in your life.

that is a tough one. i, too, send you a hug. and i agree with sculp- let him know you support him emotionally, and i think that bringing a local paper to visit him is an excellent idea. you're a good sister :)

Next Monday would have been my brother's 42nd birthday, but he died in a car wreck in '95. Be grateful that you have a brother to care for at all and do what you can for him, even if its just a hug and a supportive word.

i'm so sorry IWT. something like that never gets any easier. (hug)

Sorry for your loss IWT My brother is 45 and it is really painful to see how much he is floundering at life. He has a genius IQ and is an amazing musician and artist, but lacks life skills. He lives in another state and I have offered to let him come to Denver to stay with me till he can get on his feet, but I am thinking that he never will and that is tragic to watch. I worry about him a lot. My suggestions to him to find a more reliable source of income have not made a difference. He continues to expect the rest of the world to save him. I can't keep doing it. I love him and will support however I can, but I cannot keep enabling his downward spiral.

Your very wise

You're doing all the right things Now HE needs to pull it out and get cracking. You are a great sister, and you're doing all the right things. You're on the right track by offering your love and support, rather than more money. It's time to - gently - force him to take care of himself, as I know you already know. There are plenty of artists and musicians who either find a way to make their art pay, or do their art on the side while working a "straight" job. It's not so bad. Let him know he's not alone, and it's not defeat to take a job. It's a way to support his craft. Good luck to you and your brother!

:( so sorry, IWT

Sorry, IWT.

whoever was so low as to neg this post: I challenge you to a knife fight. That is absolutely vicious.

Absolute Ditto!

I don't need back up. thanxBAI.

Chuckle! Sure ya do! One of us to hold the thing, the other to operate the weaponry! I'd love to tear somebody UP with yer toenail clippers! (I don't even want to THINK about them there pliers!!!)

does that have a ginsu bagel blade on it?

yes & a x-pack of Luna cups

The design seems similar to the John Deere xc Stalkmaster Corn Head

really?

I win for biggest picture EVER

i think your tractor's sexy.

ooo, let me show you mine (incl.the )

You all have some nice tractors. I live about x feet from a corn field. Bring your machines and come for a visit...I will serve tea.

last time I accepted an invite such as that, I ended up hacked into pieces & stuffed into black plastic trash bags.

You must have been south of here. In these parts we don't do the hack & stuff. Besides, that must have made a god awful mess.

I am drinking toasted corn tea. I am waiting for it to steep!!!! I had olive spread on my sandwich today-decided to it the city sandwich because it looks like bird crap!

I hope it tasted better than it looked!

Toasted corn tea??? never heard of it is that your own concoction or is it manufactured? I am drinking raspberry flavored sparkling water with a packet of raspberry flavored Emergen-C.

i would say your tractors are sexy too but it just feels wrong with the involved.

Tough One That must be so hard - there's some great advice here, and your idea for him to stay with you is a smart It's not like we can watch our siblings go homeless, no matter how hard we want them to take responsibility for their own life. I wish you the best.

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