I just want to say... I am not gay but enjoy posting in this forum. I have received some of the best relationship advice, jokes and read some of the funniest threads ever. I hope I will continue to be welcome!

pssst Health and happiness no matter who or what you are!

Whoever negged these asshat.

Asshats abound

i concur

i am going to take a stab and guess that someone negged the OP because there are very very few places in this world that are reserved for queer women, and only queer women. and when non-queers do not respect that, it may upset some folks. of course we all have straight friends. some of my best friends are straight! (heh, sorry i couldnt resist) but it would be nice if the non queers respected our space once in a while. this kind of thing really bothers me, especially because the only gay place to go dance round these parts is now about 50% hetero. as a homo, i dont go to a gay bar to get hit on by a hetero dude. that makes me want to stomp my foot and say 'no fair!' Similarly, some of us dont want to go into a queer women's forum to chat with non-queers. I hope that makes sense. My brain is fried.

thank gawd this is america/ freedom of choice &

oh silly anon, of course you are *allowed* to say what you will, but that doesnt by any means ensure that it wont be rude, disrespectful, and tacky! and if you havent noticed, this forum isnt very shy!

yes feisty I kind of sensed no shyness here

come on now, I was not rude or disrespectful no harm intended

Wait. Which are you again?

handle me : unrude or notdisrespectful and still not meaning to be but it is me!

Huh?

actually, freedom of speech does not apply on a private website. People must abide by TOU. not that this has anything to do w/ this particular topic

indeed, and furthermore... ...I think the heterocentric jackasses should quit hiding behind the xst amendment. Let's a spade a spade: it's not freedom of speech as written in the constitution, it's just entitlement to heterocentric jackassery with a pseudopatriotic PR campaign shellacked on top of it.

CB try not to hold back

Genius post. on the hypocritical, wholly political fetishization of the same 'Free Speech' that's been systematiy disemboweled by the current band of fascistic corporatists leading this once-not-entirely-evil nation straight to hell. Thank you. ;-)

agreed and the freedom of speech part of the first amendment is about limiting the government's ability to make laws restricting speech, which has absolutely nothing to do with people thinking they have the right to say whatever they want to anyone just because they feel like it. Is it just me or are people in this society acting more and more like they are entitled to things they have no right to feel entitled to?

I think it's quite the opposite. The current national mood seems to be more about denying people basic human needs. Health care? Whatever, dude. Civil rights? So-o xs. Either get on the Halliburton bandwagon or move to France, you cut-and-run terrorist-lover. A position that too many Americans seem to accept, without protest, as somehow natural and good.

Yeah, I see your point. I was thinking more along the lines of individuals, especially of the y-generation and net-generation, who seem to have lost touch with the concept that they actually have to do things (like work) in order to get ahead in life. I agree that people are becoming more and more apathetic with regards to what our government is doing to us - and the fact that people (including our elected officials) have bought into this whole "you're with us or you're against us" bullshit is very scary. You're seen as un-American if you say anything against America, so most people just go with the flow. For that matter, I'm not sure most people bother to learn what's going on in the world - unless it involves a celebrity adoption or someone famous going into rehab.

I'm a fan of the interruption. The whole Guy DeBord situationist idea. I just can't, for the life of me, figure out what it takes to inspire the level of participation needed stage an interruption massive enough to make a difference. Any thoughts on that appreciated, as it's something I think about more and more these days.

Some background on the term:

thanks I'd heard the term before, but not like it's something that comes up often, that's why it catches my attention when CB uses it. Been a long time since I read that kind of political/societal/philosophical type stuff, I may haave to start again.

if i ever meet you in person my knees profess my love and ask you for your hand in marriage. silliness you give me goosebumps with how your mind thinks and what your fingers type here.

But what if I mistake you for another anon?

then I lose or

my thoughts I agree about anonymity amplifying negative behavior. That said, I also think it's related to society at large. Anonymous people aren't only on the internet, they also exist in other countries, or they could be as close as right next door. Me personally, I'm the same online as I am offline, and I'd say the exact same things to someone's face as I would here. I'd probably seem more deliberate and less wordy in realtime but that's because people don't see me sitting here taking the time think about what I'm trying to type. I also agree about the level of self-involvement, though it may surprise people to know that I'm actually somewhat sympathetic to it as well. I'm sympathetic to people living in an economy which prizes a race to the bottom and the insular behavior which comes from having every last drop of productivity squeezed out of one's life, and I'm pissed off about people not trying to do right by others anyway. Our zero sum game culture and its apologists both blow goats. As for jerks online vs. jerks offline, I agree about asshats in real life being especially difficult, not to mention physical danger, but I also think all of this has an effect anyway whether it's electrons or carbon-based. So that said, I think people should pick up the threads they feel best equipped to deal with and go from there. I also keep in mind something Noam Chomsky once said about the internet, namely, there is a lot of energy wasted just banging away on keyboards. Granted, he was talking about some forms of net activism and who really shot JFK style conspiracies, but I take from that an importance of having a clear understanding of how and whyparticipates online. I usually just neg'n'flag the fuckers without comment, but if I think I can add something which clarifies the level of asshattery towards a useful outcome, I'll do that. And this goes back to something Mary Daly once said: When everything is bizarre, nothing seems bizarre. There is a lot of crazymaking background noise in queer lives, and it's important to me to slice through it.

I always wonder what I project online versus what I project offline. I'm not intentionally different (except for not giving out specifics of my life/research online), but I'm sure that some things come out online that don't offline and visa versa. People I've met IRL said that I was pretty much what they expected, except shorter. When I first got on IRC I went into a general chat room and refused to tell people what my sex was. It really drove people crazy not knowing. It was an interesting experiment, but I felt weird being deceptive about it and never went back to that room. I don't know what people get out of pretending to be something they're not.

Well, I'd be disappointed... ...if we met and you sounded nothing like the person who sings the llama song! But yeah, agreed about the pretense. Furthermore, personally I make an effort to not pretend precisely because I think it's important for people to know what they're dealing with, as best as anyone could know in a medium like this. This also goes back to a sense of social contract. I honest to god despise the survival TV mentality that pervades everything, namely, don't trust anyone because everyone will turn on you for their own gain. I think it's poisonous on a number of levels. Still, I can understand not saying your sex or gender identity. I've posted incognito on gaming websites, for example. I used to be open about not being a guy, but the years of annoying suburbanite teenage boy behavior finally built up enough to change my mind. It bothered me to not correct people when they assumed I was a guy, but I also think we get to choose our battles, as well as how we direct our energies. And it's not like it's a straightforward proposition to just say my gender. ;-(

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